Saturday, April 14, 2012

A Morning in the Life of . . .

Occasionally moments in my life take on a surreal quality.  Almost as if the events are scripted by a writer with a penchant for hyperbole and potty humor.  This morning a few months ago was one such . . .

3am - Gabi wakes up but I hold off feeding her till 3:30.  (Trying to stretch these times out to get her body to go into fasting mode at night.)
4am - Back to sleep
5:30am - Big girl in bed.  My girls play wake-the-other-up-then-fall-asleep game.  Here's how it goes:  try not to laugh as mom squirms as she tries to keep me quiet and get me back to sleep while my sister snoozes, then we trade off.
7am - Up time for everyone. One of my favorite parts of the day.  Lots of cuddles, smiles and giggles.  I love it when my girls cuddle each other.
7:30am - Change baby's diaper.  She's soaked through her clothes and blanket and onto our sheets.  Get baby new clothes toss blankie in wash but keep sheets; they'll dry.

I lose track of time as I the next events pile on top of one another:
  • Head out to the kitchen, pop bouncy chair on counter strap baby in. 
  • Wash hands.
  • Start warm coco for the big girl.
  • Brush teeth (in kitchen), apply contacts to eyes. 
  • Pour glass of water.
  • Discover large pile of vomit on counter top.  Curse cat, clean vomit.
  • Wash hands.
  • Discover chunk of poo on floor near the cat food bowl from old arthritic kitty.  Clean poo.
  • Wash hands.
  • Serve coco.
  • Pour cereal for self.
  • Sit on futon in play room, play roll the ball with baby, while eating, drinking and interacting with big kid.
  • Share water with baby.  Make lame attempt to teach "drink" and "water" signs.
  • Hear cat scratching in litter box.  Sigh.  Wait for assault on my nose.  Scoop litter box.  Notice all the poop streaks on the floor from old arthritic kitty that can no longer clean himself so he scoots his bottom on floor instead.  Sigh again, dodge said skid marks.  Run scooper full of poo to potty, sprinkling litter all the way.
  • Wash hands.
  • Play with baby and big kid in "secret grotto" (spot on the floor near heat register, between shelves and futon) until big kid gets upset about baby drooling on the floor and her toys.
  • Shower - get clothes together while hauling around baby.
    • drag over bouncy
    • insert baby into bouncy
    • start water
    • step over old cat
    • step around big girl who suddenly has to go potty
    • get in shower
    • listen to big girl narrate her potty experience, “Whoa that was a big poop!  Ewww stinky!” Then resist her attempts to engage me.  ”Mooooom do you smeelll something?”  *laugh snicker*  Then the wiping starts, half a roll of TP and half a package of flushables.  Then more poo comes out and the process starts over with my big girl chattering non stop.
    • Baby is getting fussy, must hurry.
    • I need soap, lean out of shower getting water on big kid and cat to get new bar from the drawer.
    • Get out of shower, help big kid wipe while trying to keep towel on self.
    • Wash hands.
    •  Big kid washes hands too.
  • Big kid goes into room to put on outfit which is wildly inappropriate for cold weather.
  • Decides she want to feed cats, fills water dish and food bowl splashing water and scattering kibble on the floor.
  • Discover more vomit. 
  • Phone rings - Papa - “How's your day?”
  • While talking on phone and spraying cleaner on poo streaks in hallway.  “Kinda crappy (literally) today...  How’s your day?”
  • Clean up poo and vomit.
  • Wash hands.
It's 9:30am  I gotta get out of the house.  Why are my hands so chapped??

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